Biography

I​ ​was​ ​born​ ​one​ ​of​ ​four​ ​children​ ​in​ ​West​ ​Philadelphia​ ​in​ ​a​ ​not​ ​so​ ​good/not​ ​so​ ​bad​ ​neighborhood.​ ​I grew​ ​up​ ​in​ ​a​ ​two​ ​parent​ ​household​ ​where​ ​we​ ​got​ ​by​ ​with​ ​decent​ ​means​ ​like​ ​the​ ​average​ ​family. Tragedy​ ​struck​ ​our​ ​family​ ​when​ ​we​ ​lost​ ​our​ ​father​ ​in​ ​2003.​ ​One​ ​of​ ​our​ ​siblings,​ ​who​ ​already suffering​ ​from​ ​postpartum​ ​depression​ ​then​ ​took​ ​a​ ​turn​ ​for​ ​the​ ​worst,​ ​was​ ​diagnosed​ ​with​ ​bipolar and​ ​paranoid​ ​schizophrenia.

I​ ​did​ ​my​ ​best​ ​at​ ​maintaining​ ​my​ ​independence​ ​and​ ​adulthood.​ ​I​ ​worked​ ​various​ ​jobs,​ ​took college​ ​courses,​ ​obtained​ ​my​ ​Associates​ ​degree​ ​in​ ​elementary​ ​education.​ ​Took​ ​several​ ​courses in​ ​Business​ ​Administration/Entrepreneurship​ ​but​ ​moved​ ​on​ ​to​ ​obtain​ ​a​ ​certificate​ ​in​ ​Therapeutic Massage.​ ​Shortly​ ​after,​ ​that​ ​craft​ ​was​ ​put​ ​on​ ​hold​ ​after​ ​landing​ ​a​ ​new​ ​job,​ ​new​ ​marriage,​ ​and conceiving​ ​my​ ​first​ ​child​ ​in​ ​2012,​ ​all​ ​after​ ​relocating​ ​to​ ​the​ ​state​ ​of​ ​New​ ​Jersey,​ ​at​ ​the​ ​age​ ​of​ ​31.

After​ ​the​ ​delivery​ ​of​ ​my​ ​first​ ​child,​ ​my​ ​postpartum​ ​began​ ​my​ ​last​ ​night​ ​in​ ​the​ ​hospital.​ ​Fear consumed​ ​me​ ​as​ ​I​ ​looked​ ​into​ ​her​ ​eyes​ ​and​ ​felt​ ​I​ ​was​ ​all​ ​she​ ​had​ ​in​ ​this​ ​world​ ​and​ ​if​ ​something happened​ ​to​ ​me​ ​or​ ​if​ ​I​ ​didn’t​ ​measure​ ​up,​ ​she​ ​would​ ​be​ ​doomed.​ ​After​ ​going​ ​home,​ ​I​ ​still​ ​felt alone​ ​to​ ​care​ ​for​ ​this​ ​child​ ​and​ ​that​ ​was​ ​not​ ​the​ ​case.​ ​My​ ​husband​ ​and​ ​live-in​ ​niece​ ​was​ ​there every​ ​step​ ​of​ ​the​ ​way.​ ​I​ ​sought​ ​out​ ​professional​ ​consults​ ​and​ ​the​ ​result​ ​was​ ​low​ ​dose antidepressants.​ ​They​ ​immediately​ ​took​ ​over​ ​my​ ​overall​ ​being​ ​and​ ​made​ ​things​ ​worst​ ​and totally​ ​off​ ​balance.​ ​I​ ​slept​ ​at​ ​odd​ ​times​ ​during​ ​the​ ​day,​ ​and​ ​was​ ​up​ ​all​ ​night.​ ​Had​ ​a​ ​poor​ ​appetite, gagged​ ​at​ ​certain​ ​foods,​ ​endured​ ​the​ ​jitters/heart​ ​palpitations​ ​and​ ​still​ ​cried​ ​over​ ​motherhood.

I​ ​then​ ​knew​ ​it​ ​was​ ​time​ ​to​ ​end​ ​those​ ​pills​ ​and​ ​fight​ ​through​ ​this​ ​depression.​ ​I​ ​weaned​ ​off​ ​the​ ​pills and​ ​then​ ​completely​ ​stopped.​ ​It​ ​took​ ​a​ ​lot​ ​of​ ​prayer​ ​to​ ​help​ ​me​ ​feel​ ​better​ ​and​ ​rebuild​ ​me​ ​to​ ​the woman​ ​I​ ​was​ ​back​ ​in​ ​2003.​ ​That​ ​experience​ ​lasted​ ​about​ ​2-3​ ​months.

I​ ​delivered​ ​my​ ​second​ ​child​ ​in​ ​2016​ ​and​ ​was​ ​sure​ ​to​ ​prevent​ ​having​ ​postpartum.​ ​I​ ​made​ ​sure​ ​to get​ ​rest,​ ​remain​ ​close​ ​to​ ​family,​ ​and​ ​get​ ​help​ ​every​ ​chance​ ​I​ ​could.​ ​Low​ ​and​ ​behold,​ ​I experienced​ ​it​ ​heavily​ ​when​ ​I​ ​had​ ​to​ ​return​ ​back​ ​to​ ​work.​ ​My​ ​return​ ​included​ ​a​ ​bit​ ​of​ ​a​ ​commute. So​ ​dealing​ ​with​ ​the​ ​traveling,​ ​working​ ​eight​ ​hours,​ ​coming​ ​home​ ​going​ ​straight​ ​to​ ​sleep​ ​left hardly​ ​any​ ​time​ ​to​ ​spend​ ​with​ ​my​ ​3​ ​year​ ​old​ ​and​ ​newborn​ ​baby.​ ​It​ ​left​ ​me​ ​with​ ​the​ ​most​ ​saddest and​ ​incomplete​ ​feeling​ ​in​ ​the​ ​world.​ ​My​ ​sleep​ ​was​ ​all​ ​thrown​ ​off,​ ​long​ ​distance​ ​driving​ ​to​ ​work was​ ​scary,​ ​as​ ​I​ ​felt​ ​off​ ​balanced​ ​and​ ​worried​ ​about​ ​crashing,​ ​falling​ ​asleep,​ ​or​ ​running​ ​off​ ​the road.​ ​All​ ​when​ ​I​ ​should’ve​ ​been​ ​reassured​ ​that​ ​everything​ ​was​ ​okay​ ​and​ ​that​ ​God’s​ ​got​ ​me.

To​ ​this​ ​day,​ ​I​ ​still​ ​feel​ ​bouts​ ​of​ ​anxiety​ ​and​ ​worry,​ ​but​ ​my​ ​new​ ​mantra​ ​“Loosen​ ​Up​ ​and​ ​Live” simply​ ​helps​ ​me​ ​get​ ​through​ ​the​ ​moment,​ ​do​ ​the​ ​best​ ​I​ ​can,​ ​and​ ​be​ ​the​ ​best​ ​me​ ​possible.​ ​I​ ​am​ ​a work​ ​in​ ​progress.​ ​I​ ​am​ ​far​ ​from​ ​perfect.​ ​While​ ​I​ ​have​ ​a​ ​voice​ ​and​ ​the​ ​experience​ ​of​ ​anxiety​ ​and depression,​ ​I​ ​feel​ ​I​ ​can​ ​reach​ ​out​ ​to​ ​others​ ​in​ ​need​ ​by​ ​spreading​ ​this​ ​message.​ ​If​ ​at​ ​any​ ​time you​ ​feel​ ​you​ ​are​ ​in​ ​danger​ ​or​ ​need​ ​professional​ ​assistance,​ ​do​ ​not​ ​wait.​ ​Seek​ ​help immediately!!!